I’d like to thank Rose for commenting on my previous post and drawing my attention to the controversy over the blog I linked to. The post I read seemed perfectly innocent, but it seems Mary has made another one about Kristy Schwade and her baby Kaleb who was shaken by a home daycare provider.

Mary appeared to be showing a lack of sympathy for Kristy Schwade due to a previous arrest for domestic violence.

Now, I don’t know the full details of the arrest, but certainly I would fully support Kristy and Kaleb at this time.

You can see the full controvery here: LOCAL STORIES: baby Kaleb in Tampa and here: I am Mary

I’d be interested to hear your comments about this. It’s easy to leave them on this blog post.

Talk soon,
Mary Nightingale

P.S. Thousands of future or current home daycare providers just like you have already signed up to my ‘how to start a home daycare’ newsletter. It’s getting a bit overwhelming and I may cap signups soon, but for the time being you can still join. Don’t worry, it’s free. All you have to do is enter your name and e-mail below:

I’ve just found a new blog started by a home daycare provider called Mary (great name

Here’s what she wrote:

“Hi, I’m Mary and new to this site…. so bear with me while I test some things out.

I’m happily married for 8 yrs now and have 3 children. I’m a licensed in-home daycare provider.

Hopefully, I won’t bore you with my blogs!!

Mary”

You can see the blog here: I am Mary

Talk soon,
Mary Nightingale

P.S. Thousands of future or current home daycare providers just like you have already signed up to my ‘how to start a home daycare’ newsletter. It’s getting a bit overwhelming and I may cap signups soon, but for the time being you can still join. Don’t worry, it’s free. All you have to do is enter your name and e-mail below:

“When the kids are outside they outnumber me. There are six of them and one of me,” said home day care provider, Meredith Patterson of Steubenville.

On Thursday, she had seen a black bear in broad daylight at a busy intersection near the Ft. Steuben Mall.

“He was coming out of the woods — that was enough for me. The kids are not going outside to play,” said Patterson.

Over the past couple of weeks bears have been observed right across the Ohio Valley: everywhere from the middle of the street to dog houses.

Patterson said that the parents of the children she cares for support her decision to keep kids indoors.

“They understand. … I don’t want to put them at risk at all. It’s on their mind and my mind. That’s why we’re inside,” she said.

Wildlife experts think it likely that the bears were kicked out of their wooded territory by other bears and will eventually go back to the wild.

I’ve just been reading a forum thread started by a home daycare provider who’s frustrated because she has a slow child and the child’s parents won’t do anything about it.

I thought it might be useful for any other providers in that situation.

Here’s the initial forum post:

”

I have a dkp that is clueless that her daughter is a bit slower than she should be. I have been working with her on everyday things, like eating, drinking from a real cup, and simple tasks. When I ask her to do 2 things in a row, get her shoes and coat and put them on, she looks at me like I am speaking a foreign language. It is very frustrating. It is a constant battle and her parents seem to careless. I approached mom to say that I think there are thing we need to work on, gave her a few examples and left it at that. That was around Christmas, and that is what mom choked it up to being, she was excited about Christmas and could not focus. I since have looked online to see what a 3 yr 5 month old child should be capable of and she can not do many. The main thing I am concerned about is that she will not get the help she needs and it will hurt her later on. The school district offers free preschool screening and I have suggested it to mom, as I do all my kids parents to make sure they are all on the right path, but she says nothing is wrong and I don’t need to worry about it. The main thing that bothers me is I have 2 yos that can do more than she can and she is slowing us down. She can not focus or follow more than one thing at a time. I know it is a learned skill and it needs time, but my patience is wearing thin with her. How can I or should I even bother letting mom know I think she should really go for the screening? Any one else deal with this? What can I do with her to help her get moving in the right direction? She is a very good kid, I just think she needs some other help that I can not offer to her.

TIA”

You can read the whole thread here: Clueless HELP PLEASE!!!

Talk soon,
Mary Nightingale

P.S. Thousands of future or current home daycare providers just like you have already signed up to my ‘how to start a home daycare’ newsletter. It’s getting a bit overwhelming and I may cap signups soon, but for the time being you can still join. Don’t worry, it’s free. All you have to do is enter your name and e-mail below:

I just found a new blog by a home daycare provider called Tracy. It looks like it could get interesting.

Here’s an excerpt from her first post:

“Yeah! School is cancelled because of all the snow. I thought I would have a house full of school aged kids running around or totally bored today. But guess what, I have no daycare kids at my house today! Now, don’t get me wrong, I love all my daycare kids, but like with any job, it is wonderful to get an unexpected day off. Now, if only my own two children would get along for more than 10 minutes at a time. (I guess I can’t have all good things in one day, huh?)”

You can read the whole thing here: Snow Day!

Talk soon,
Mary Nightingale

P.S. Thousands of future or current home daycare providers just like you have already signed up to my ‘how to start a home daycare’ newsletter. It’s getting a bit overwhelming and I may cap signups soon, but for the time being you can still join. Don’t worry, it’s free. All you have to do is enter your name and e-mail below:

Do you ever wonder how other home daycare providers run their home daycares. Is there anything you could learn from them?

Why not get together with some other home daycare providers and work together by looking at what each other does.

I’ve just been reading an article on this subject which is very interesting.

Here it is:

National Network for Child Care’s Connections Newsletter

Emily Johnson
Assistant Professor
University of La Crosse, Wisconsin

Copyright/Access Information

Mary has been a family day care provider for five years. She has lived in two different homes. Each was limited in space for both her business and her family things. She often wondered how others home providers organized their time and space. Then she attended a “Parade of Family Day-Care Homes.” She soon learned that other providers had many of the same problems. She also discovered that many had come up with creative solutions to them. Some had reorganized their space. Others had developed time-saving techniques. Still others had great ideas on how to balance work and family life.

A tour of provider homes is an excellent training event. The goal is not to present the perfect family day care situation. Rather, the event helps home providers learn from one another. It can also provide visibility for an often hidden part of the day care community.

Here are the steps to follow in developing a tour in your community.

PLANNING THE EVENT

Select a date. A fall Saturday morning can be ideal. The weather is often pleasant. Most providers have the day off. Other community residents can also attend.

Identify providers who are willing to open their homes to others. Look for people who have recently remodeled their homes or developed a unique program. Try to provide a variety of settings-homes where the business and family areas overlap, homes where the business area is separate, and an apartment. Give a schedule to each provider. Find out how many people they can accommodate for each tour. Also, provide suggestions for how to conduct the tour. Answer any questions they may have.

Publicize the event broadly. Advertise the program among providers. Also, contact newspapers, radio stations, and TV stations. Offer advance registration. But also expect a large number of registrations the morning of the event. Charge a small fee (for example, $4) to offset the costs of marketing the program, maps, information on each home, and other resource material. Arrange for a central meeting location from which the tour will begin. Those who arrive early can chat over coffee and muffins as they await the start of the tour.

Develop a master time schedule prior to the event. Determine how large a group the smallest home can accommodate. Decide how much time a group should spend at each home. Be sure to allow time for both touring the home and informal discussion. Also, allow time for travel between the homes and determine the order in which groups will rotate from one home to another.

On the morning of the event, ask participants to divide themselves up into small groups. Be sure each group contains an individual willing to drive. Plan to have extra cars and drivers available for groups that need transportation. Provide each group with a map and schedule to follow. Have each group begin the tour at a different home.

What do providers talk about? Everything from the bathroom to the kitchen sink! The provider presents an overview of her program, the ages and number of children she cares for, and tells what’s special about her program. She describes how she has overcome space limitations, worked out a schedule that accommodates mixed-age children, uses recycled materials, or mentions special resources she has found helpful. The provider may explain how the house is organized and how family things are separated or integrated with the day care business. A tour of the home shows where children play with small manipulatives, have group time, engage in messy activities, nap, or practice large motor skills.

What is learned? Much information is exchanged on the tour. At one tour, participants got excited about the idea of using soap-dish suction cup holders to hold toddler plates to the table or high chair. Other discussions centered around how the home day care business affects taxes. One provider also explained that during remodeling they moved a heating vent closer to the back door. By putting hooks on the wall above the vent, she was able to quickly dry mittens, hats, and scarves in the winter. Another provider described the techniques she used to negotiate with reluctant contractors. Still others discussed how to make heavy-duty blocks out of milk cartons and how to hide the family’s stereo equipment from curious toddlers. The mutual exchange of information makes this a great learning experience for both providers and participants.

PUBLIC RELATIONS

The tour may also include center-based providers, parents, and community residents. By listening to the exchanges during the tour, these individuals quickly learn that home providers are professionals who work hard to provide high-quality care for children. They are innovative, creative, and resourceful. They spend a great deal of time planning their programs. The parade of homes therefore serves an important public relations function in addition to being a valuable training program for providers.

“You know, I’ve been in the business for a long time, and yet I didn’t think that I had anything special. But after visiting these homes, I like what I’m doing, and I feel my home and program are as good as any I’ve seen today,” said one participant.

“It’s great to see how others have arranged their space or made materials and so on. But I think it’s important just to meet the providers. I don’t care how great the place is. What really makes the difference is the person providing the care,” said another.

A third commented, “The outdoor space. That’s what I want to see. I’m an outdoors person. I want the kids in my care to be able to go outside and run and play. So I like to see other people’s yards or parks where the kids can play.”

DOCUMENT USE/COPYRIGHT
National Network for Child Care - NNCC. Part of CYFERNET, the National Extension Service Children Youth and Family Educational Research Network. Permission is granted to reproduce these materials in whole or in part for educational purposes only (not for profit beyond the cost of reproduction) provided that the author and Network receive acknowledgment and this notice is included:

Reprinted with permission from the National Network for Child Care - NNCC. Johnson, E. (1995). A parade of homes. In Todd, C.M. (Ed.), *Family child care connections*, 2(1), Urbana-Champaign, IL: University of Illinois Cooperative Extension Service.

Talk soon,
Mary Nightingale

P.S. Thousands of future or current home daycare providers just like you have already signed up to my ‘how to start a home daycare’ newsletter. It’s getting a bit overwhelming and I may cap signups soon, but for the time being you can still join. Don’t worry, it’s free. All you have to do is enter your name and e-mail below:

Yet another new home daycare provider has just announced that she’s going into business on her blog. It seems like more and more people are setting up their own daycares.

Here’s an excerpt:

“Some of you are aware of what I have been up to for the past two months. For the rest of you…….Surprise!

After 7 weeks of classes, inspections, cleaning out, and cleaning up, I am officially licensed to run a home Daycare! I am so excited. I will get to be home with my own kids, and (hopefully) make a difference in the lives of other children. If you’re ever in the neighborhood, stop by and see what I’ve done with the back room. It looks fantastic. I even made my own curtains!!! I have put a lot of time and effort into this, and am keeping my fingers crossed that it will be a success.”

You can read the whole thing here: Open for business

Talk soon,
Mary Nightingale

P.S. Thousands of future or current home daycare providers just like you have already signed up to my ‘how to start a home daycare’ newsletter. It’s getting a bit overwhelming and I may cap signups soon, but for the time being you can still join. Don’t worry, it’s free. All you have to do is enter your name and e-mail below:

Below is a very useful article on the subject of handling problems with parents:

HANDLING POSSIBLE PROBLEMS
Chris R. Koehler
County Specialist, Communities, Families and Youth
Cooperative Extension
University of Massachusetts

Copyright/Access Information

YOU WILL LEARN:
- how to handle disagreements with parents.

- some possible solutions to common problems.

WHY KNOWING HOW TO HANDLE DISAGREEMENTS IS IMPORTANT
You may face problems. As a family day care provider, some problems can be prevented by having a Parent-Provider Agreement. In the agreement, your rules and policies are clearly stated. If a parent does not agree with your policies, he or she can choose another provider. Even if you try hard and are well prepared, some problems will come up.

Some problems will be just mis-understandings. At other times, you may really disagree with the way a parent thinks you should handle a problem. The better you can handle a disagreement, the better your day care business will run.

SEEING THINGS DIFFERENTLY
A provider who says there is never a problem in his or her day care program is not being honest with himself or herself. When you and a parent disagree, you must decide how to handle it. The first step with any problem is to say, “We have a problem.”

Some problems just blow over. For example, it’s late in the afternoon and a mother is tired. She snaps about the dirt on her son’s pants. The next day she forgets about the dirt. At times people do not listen carefully. For example, a parent thought you said the field trip was next week. Be patient and let the parent know when the field trip is.

WHEN PARENTS COMPLAIN
Here are some tips for handling complaints from parents.

Listen to feelings as well as words. Parents might be upset about other things in their lives.

Listen to the parents. They have a right to make suggestions about the care of their child.

Try not to get angry. Begin with the word “I” to state your feelings. Try not to blame anyone.

Remember that parents have good ideas about their child’s care. Several minds are better than one. It’s nice to have help solving problems!

If you make a mistake, say that you are sorry. Do what you can to correct the problem.

If a parent asks you to do something that is not right, do not make any promises. You might ask why the parent feels a certain way. Try to talk about it again at a different time.

WHEN YOU WANT TO COMPLAIN
Here are some tips that might help you.

Discuss a problem when you and the parents are alone, and when you have time and energy to talk.

Talk in a polite, calm voice. Do not talk down to parents. You may be the expert, but you are talking about their child.

Say something good about the child first. The parents will know that you really do care for the child.

Boost the parents’ confidence. Say something positive. They will be more open to your ideas.

You may not always agree with parents. That is okay. What is important is to live with your different ideas. Respect the parents’ point of view. Try to find a way to work together.

CONFIDENTIALITY
When a parent confides in you, treat this information as a secret. Even if a parent makes a comment in passing, he or she may not want you to tell anyone else. Remember, your business depends, in part, on word-of-mouth recommendations. The parent does not want you to talk about his or her children or family problems with other people. That is a quick way to hurt your reputation. You can tell parents that you do not wish to hear about their family problems. However, this information may help you understand what is happening in their child’s life.

COMMON PROBLEMS
Although things may be going well for you now, it is always wise to think through some common problems. Talk with other providers in your neighborhood about any troubles they have had. Think about what you would do if a problem came up in day care. Being prepared will help you handle problems calmly.

Here are some things that can help you handle problems.

Your local support agency can help. People there have heard many troubles.

Your local social service legal agency can answer questions about your legal rights and responsibilities.

Keep good records of problem behavior or unusual activities. This will help when you talk with parents.

Form a support group of other providers. Members can help you see a situation differently or suggest other ways to handle problems.

Be a resource for parents. Give them information for handling problems. You can also refer them to other professionals for help.

ACTIVITIES TO DO
1. Play out possible problems with a friend. Be yourself, and have your friend play the parent. Try to be confident and fair as you handle each problem. Think about where you could go for help with each problem. Start with the problems listed below. Then make up other possible problems.

Parents are divorcing or separating.
A parent always comes late to pick up a child.
A parent seems not to care about your program.
A parent loses his or her job.
You, the day care provider, get sick.
A child bites another child in your day care program.
You and a parent do not share the same values.
2. Visit your local library. Ask the librarian for children’s books that deal with divorce, death, and birth of another child. Also, see what adult books about handling these problems are available.

RESOURCES TO EXPLORE
*When I Say No, I Feel Guilty*. Manual J. Smith, Dial Press, 1975. Available from Bantam Books, Inc., 414 E. Golf Rd., Des Plaines, IL 60016
($3.50).

——————————————————————————–
DOCUMENT USE/COPYRIGHT
National Network for Child Care - NNCC. Part of CYFERNET, the National Extension Service Children, Youth and Family Educational Research Network. Permission is granted to reproduce these materials in whole or in part for educational purposes only (not for profit beyond the cost of reproduction) provided that the author and Network receive acknowledgment and this notice is included:

Reprinted with permission from the National Network for Child Care - NNCC. Koehler, C.R. (1991). *Handling possible problems* (*Family Day Care Facts* series). Amherst, MA: University of Massachusetts.

Talk soon,
Mary Nightingale

P.S. Thousands of future or current home daycare providers just like you have already signed up to my ‘how to start a home daycare’ newsletter. It’s getting a bit overwhelming and I may cap signups soon, but for the time being you can still join. Don’t worry, it’s free. All you have to do is enter your name and e-mail below:

I’ve just been reading a very interesting study by the University of Pittsburgh Office of Child Development called ‘Are We Leaving Them Behind?’. It’s all about how childcare providers and parents should be helped to address behavioural problems in very young children.

Here’s an excerpt:

“The Jewish Healthcare Foundation focused on behavioral health services for young children in response to requests by service and advocacy organizations. Initially, these requests were in the form of proposals for funds to expand or improve training of early care and education1 teachers and aides to strengthen their skills in caring for increasing numbers of children exhibiting difficult to manage behaviors. As these requests continued, the Foundation decided it would be prudent to develop a full understanding of the extent of the problem locally and the availability of effective assistance to help the teachers and aides. In the process, the Foundation planned to identify wise investments for JHF and necessary actions by other key organizations.

But first, there was a need to learn: Is this a serious problem? Are there a growing number of young children with serious behavioral problems? Are early care and education teachers and aides able to address these behavioral problems? Do they (or parents) know where to turn for help? Whom do they call for help, and is there an effective response? In situations where parents are desperately searching for help, is there any special assistance? Is there any organization in charge or likely to take charge of improving behavioral health supports to young children and their caregivers? What are the obstacles to providing a seamless system of behavioral expertise for caregivers and parents? Are leading organizations ready to make behavioral health services for young children a priority? And especially, how might organizations provide real-time assistance when there is an immediate need for help with a child exhibiting serious behavioral problems?

To better understand and document the extent of the problem locally and the current status of behavioral health services available to children from birth to age five in early care and education settings in Allegheny County, the Jewish Healthcare Foundation commissioned the University of Pittsburgh Office of Child Development to conduct an environmental scan. The scan was guided by the following questions:”

You can read the whole thing here: Are We Leaving Them Behind?

Talk soon,
Mary Nightingale

P.S. Thousands of future or current home daycare providers just like you have already signed up to my ‘how to start a home daycare’ newsletter. It’s getting a bit overwhelming and I may cap signups soon, but for the time being you can still join. Don’t worry, it’s free. All you have to do is enter your name and e-mail below:

I’ve just been reading a touching blog post by a home daycare provider called Tracey who writes about why she loves her daycare.

Here’s an excerpt:

“I was reading one of my last posts where I shared about my challenges as a daycare provider. I was having a hard week and I don’t at all regret what I shared with you all because I am only human, and I go through my rough days like everyone else. But I just want to let everyone know that yes, as challenging as running a daycare can be, there is a whole lot of wonderful things that I love about working with all these beautiful kids! Here are just a few of the reasons why I LOVE being a daycare provider:

- I am learning to appreciate all the simple things in life. Kids find joy in the simplest things…and a lot of that rubs off on me. For example, I say: “we’re gonna make candy apples today” or “let’s put our coats on and play outside” or “snack time!!!” or “who wants to colour!” or “let’s go check the mail” …and they all jump up and down and cheer - kind of like how we adults would act if someone handed us a million dollar cheque. The purest and simplest things excite these children.”

You can read the whole thing here: Pure and Simple…

Talk soon,
Mary

P.S. Thousands of future or current home daycare providers just like you have already signed up to my ‘how to start a home daycare’ newsletter. It’s getting a bit overwhelming and I may cap signups soon, but for the time being you can still join. Don’t worry, it’s free. All you have to do is enter your name and e-mail below: